On faithfulness (girls only)


I have been unfaithful. More than once. So have most of you, most likely, whether you like to admit it or not. I honestly don’t believe I could have done differently – I don’t even know that I would have wanted to do differently. That was back in the days when the quest for the one and only was very much on the agenda. Searching for that guy is very hard work. Let alone finding him.

In the process, I have disobeyed more than three out of the ten commandments. I have committed, so to speak,  adultery, I have coveted my neighbour’s partner and I have also, on occasion, coveted some of their earthly possessions, though this is totally irrelevant to today’s post.  

Many many years later, many partners later, I can safely say that, hey girls! we need to reassess the criteria and the process. A partner for life is more important than sex for life.  Let me rephrase: the chances of finding a true partner, one you can look up to, laugh with and spend time with while remaining attracted to, are few. The chances of having sex, many. So why do the two have to be seen as one? Find the partner, live the sex with them while it lasts and is good for both of you, then choose the partnership over the sex and find other ways of dealing with that issue.

Faithfulness is overrated. It’s also relative. Is it physical, emotional or mental? Does thinking about someone else make you unfaithful? Does sleeping with this “someone else” while loving your partner make you unfaithful and to whom? Provocative. Food for thought.

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